Saturday, April 7, 2012

Sometimes.

To get right to the point, my relationship ended with Lauren. I apologize for having to read through another break-up vent --so, I'll make that quick! It happened, it will continue to hurt, life goes on.

Sometimes we lose our comforts and ways in which we've settled. When that happens we are faced with ourselves in our new-found "lonely times." These are the times when we really take a good look --as if a painter steps back to see how things are coming along, if there is progress, or if the work is pleasant from the eyes of a viewer...

I haven't been single in a long time, and now that I am, I am surrounded by me and me alone. Here's what I've kept true:

1. Clowning, Acting, Performing, Comedy --these are still the epicenter of my passion.

2. I get distracted easily and lose sight of family --as well as creative drive. I've put off time with people that I really love and projects I care deeply about.

3. I don't like being alone. (But, who does!?)

4. Even though I work here and there, I still view myself as unemployed... That scares me.

5. I really miss the circus.

6. Beards accomplish nothing.

7. I am thankful for my troublesome spazz of a dog.

8. I have a tendency to be lazy...

9. If I didn't have a ukulele I would be in much worse shape. Music is therapeutic!

10. I am a romantic, which makes these times harder than they could be.

11. I am a surprisingly decent playwright and song writer!

It's a blessing in disguise. I needed to step away and really look at myself; to evaluate, to wake up, to write, plan, and reconnect. I am coming back --and in good time! This summer is going to fabulous and hard all at the same time. I will be in a production of "Noises Off!" at the Jungle Theater in Minneapolis, in June and July. I will be teaching at Mooseburger Clown Camp in August; and I will be performing again out at Renaissance Festival. Also, I plan on going out and doing a lot of street performing in the cities. Things are moving and I still have my youth. I always promise that I will write again soon, but I don't want to say that.
Until next time, don't be afraid to look at yourself and remind yourself of who you are and what you need. Life is short.

For now, I will leave you all with a phrase from circus life...

"See you down the road!"

-Neal